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The Great Web of Slime
There is a web of invisible slime that reaches out from the artificial traditions of psychological think tanks, like The Tavistock Institute of Human Relations, whose roots trace back to the Vienna Psychology Club; a web that stretches across the entire world and inserts itself into your lives in intrusive, unethical and corrupt ways. Groups are deceiving you for a dollar, for a vote, for your personal information, for your labor; for your body and soul. This deception is carried out using every screen you look at, every song offered to you, every sign on a billboard, every popular book, magazine and newspaper. If you want honest information; if you want to see past the slime, you are going to have to look hard for it. If you are just starting down your journey of being cognizant of the deception, the scope is difficult to believe but well borne out by the evidence. We all know the news is dishonest, but the common myth is that it is for the ratings and for the views. The ways in which the news is dishonest is what is really difficult for people to swallow and the “why” still very much in debate until you understand the framework by which they operate. Systemic corruption is no exception to the march of modernization; more sophisticated than ever and more capable of staying hidden to the average person. Modern day slavers control the narrative and the reason it is a spiritual conflict between good and evil is because there are a very small group of people who believe that stealing your agency/free will/consciousness lends itself to their ability to become gods, in their own right. Understanding that the elite have deep occult traditions is important, though often scoffed at. However, to advertise their power and influence, occult messages are constantly and publicly advertised back and forth between these groups. It is no theory that think tanks have studied and implemented cult behavior even going so far as to create artificial cults in which to entrap people. Faceless, emotionless, unempathetic organizations that are merely constructed of words on paper are able to impose these cult tactics on you with impunity and in secrecy. This is the heart of the problem; when it comes to an organization, company, agency, church, etc., these abstract constructs are very much not human, at all. Their existence is alien and unknown to human instincts, who assign human attributes naturally and without conscious thought. These constructs take advantage of normal, honest, empathetic individuals by mimicking empathy, not by actually being empathetic. There are more slaves, now, than ever in human history and the methods of enslaving are far more insidious than ever. Modern slavery networks and the corrupt political ecosystems that allow them to endure are the heart of mankind’s problems. If we, as a society, were able to address the corruption that keeps these networks alive, then we, as society, would solve a lot of problems surrounding organized crime, in general, not just the problem human trafficking. How do we do that? It is very simple; “Zero Trust” policies in organizations and 100% government transparency. That’s it. A great deal of time, effort and money are spent making sure these issues never hit the ballot box and are never part of the platform of a candidate you are given the option to vote for. The movies you watch are constantly reminding you of dangers that allow a select group of idiots to maintain secrecy that is undeserved and clearly wielded for uses other than helping society. Common sense solutions are not prioritized by the media and politicians. Don’t be a part of the destruction of common sense and common courtesy. Stop taking the bait. Stop taking the path of least resistance. We are all guilty, but pushing yourself to be better and do better has a ripple effect in the world around you. Being a terrible person also has a ripple effect. There are enough bad ripples. The concept of an “epiphany” is an important one; where a person’s mind changes on a physical, neurochemical level to the extent that their world view changes. The moment a person is “red pilled” is an epiphany and it is very much the concern of media and Internet shills and their manipulative overlords because they do not want people to have the realization that the system is corrupt from top to bottom and that both sides of most narratives. But, if you do have that realization, there is a plan for you; to do nothing and sit idly by as corrupt forces continue their work. When you have an epiphany, the neurochemical storm actually is a moment where you are most suggestible and most ready to be manipulated. If you manage to raise your level of awareness across multiple narratives, the system almost doesn’t need to care about you, anymore, as they have likely already moved you to inaction and made you unwilling to tell others the truth. While there is a great deal of science that goes behind manipulating people, the tradition is as old as human history, itself; it’s origins, magical from the perspective of the ancients. Whether you call mass manipulation “hypnosis,” “psychology,” “magic” or “science,” the fact of the matter is that it is there in a more constant form than ever, impossible to avoid, and invisible to those who aren’t paying attention or willing to research and think for themselves. Like the idea of dark matter, you cannot see it directly (at least, when done well), but should be able to test and compare data data in different circumstances to detect it. There are many confirmed real world examples of mass manipulation that people should be aware of, because it is very easy for people to believe that it is not happening to them. Many say that is too big of a conspiracy to keep secret; though we already see how it works with a variety of leaks, court cases and plenty of proven real world examples. If you encounter this argument, you have probably encountered someone who is hypnotized into misunderstanding the word “conspiracy”, where a group of people work together to commit crimes. One easy way to create a consensus across media organizations is to enter into “non disparagement agreements.” For example, HBO entered into a non-disparagement agreement with Michael Jackson’s attorneys. A recent court case established that the agreement remains in effect even after his death. This means, with the right law firm, someone can enter into many unknown non disparagement agreements with many companies. It sounds weird, but this is like black magic. Occult literally means hidden. Secret words have been spelled out that the public is not aware of, but creates the illusion that there is a consensus about any given personality; like say a politician, a singer or an actor. A web of mutual non-disparagement agreements works as a form of forensic interruption, preventing people being held accountable for crimes. Between non-disclosure agreements and non-disparagement agreements, there is a web of protected relationships where people, products and even governments are not allowed to be discussed in a negative light. This has created an extortion racket by the media. If you don’t buy in, then you are fair game. Not only are you fair game, they will harass you until you buy in because they literally need something to do due to their lack of ability to speak negatively about their cohorts. When you consider the nexus between government and media, the problem is compounded when you introduce the concept of keeping things secret for national security. Policy has created the circumstance that corporate and secret government interests are intertwined and they become aligned in keeping each other out of jail. While a lot of this is managed at upper echelons, the system is merely taking advantage of human nature, which is why the government and media should be operating from a “zero trust” standpoint and not the other way around, like it currently is. There is and never has been any reason to trust the media or the government, and doubly so when their interests are aligned. There are many proven real world examples. The first ingredient to modern mass hypnosis is saturation and repetition. Your first clue that the message is artificial is when many corporate, government and astroturfing battlegrounds all agree on the same thing. Not only is a contrived message oft-repeated, it is generally very polarized; where, due to cognitive bias, it is designed for consumption by both sides with the ideal result of making one side feel schadenfreude and the other side feel outrage and injustice. Just being aware of this polarization tactic and allowing yourself to have more nuanced opinions that the black or white ones offered up to you, is incredibly effective at not taking the bait. “Systems Psychodynamics” is the name of the psychological framework that is used to monitor and control people, primarily based on attacking and reforming “basic assumptions.” By controlling everyone’s basic assumptions using the repetitious push and pulling narratives, the levers of political and monetary behavior are controlled through “influencers.” This framework reads like it was written for social media, though, in reality, it is much older; social media merely enhances the effects. One easy way to detect the agenda and the widespreadness of the corruption, without even knowing the finer points of mass persuasion techniques, is to see what is censored. Generally, the astroturfing campaigns seek to drown out good information that is contrary to their cause. However, when you find some information that is very damaging to their narrative, especially before they’ve scripted a response, it gets removed. Eventually, they will write up a standard response, but this takes time. For this reason, I incubate a number of censorship experiments across multiple sites. While people easily get away with discussions about aliens and flat earth, conversations about modern slavery are shut down everywhere; particularly if you call people to action in reporting crimes. Sites that purport to be “free speech” will not allow you to openly hunt human traffickers and the “system” seems to hate vigilantes more than anything. Most recently, the censorship around Covid “truth” is heaviest. Censorship of doctors has been swift and totalitarian. However, because I see generally what gets censored, first, I knew this was all a scam from Day One. The first SARS COV 2 tests, up until March, were merely SARS COV tests. Very literally. The SARS COV 2 tests hadn’t been invented, yet. Explaining that the body produces the CR3022 protein (what the antibody tests look for) for all human affecting coronaviruses was heavily censored. Even now, explaining this basic fact that exposes why a great deal of testing is fraudulent, is struck from both Right and Left astroturfing machines. If you really want a rabbit hole to dig through, search the coronavirus pandemic bonds that matured March 23, 2020. Prior to that, the name “Eric Ciaramella” was one of the most censored things on the Internet. Censored, in that the information was deleted immediately. The motivations behind these multi-site censorship campaigns should have everyone concerned because it is consistently in support of Democrat and RINO narratives, politically, and always in favor of human traffickers. However, even the Q Anon group will censor you with a variety of tactics if you speak of certain things in the wrong way or mention the possibility that they, themselves, are part of an astroturfing outfit. Fox News still won’t give a fair shake to the Uranium One/Skolkovo/Troika Laundromat evidence and it betrays them as controlled opposition/ a limited hangout, since it would destroy the Democrats. Any “side” of politics you can be on, whether it’s fringe or mainstream or Right or Left, every group has limits to what truthful statements they will tolerate and the nexus where all the groups meet in alignment is when it comes to discussing modern day slavery and who is profiting from it. Simply removing content is very overt and complaining about it to those who do it will usually earn you a mute or a ban. Running a “brand” across multiple platforms requires conformity to social media company ideologies, or you will be subjected to any and all means of censorship. Covert means of censorship are also rampant. Upvotes.Club offers a service that not only promotes the content you want, but downvotes topics that run contrary to your marketing strategy. This is one of many astroturfing services. Shadow banning is another tactic that can be difficult to detect. “Deboosting” is common in social platforms, as well, where the number or type of viewers who see your content is limited. This breeds “echo chambers” across multiple Internet communities. Out of frustration and curiosity, I began experimenting with different ways to engage with the shill communities. Very often, their own tactics work quite well against them. Years into this push and pull with these groups, my best strategy has evolved to monitor them as they often telegraph economic opportunity and subvert them from behind a layer of complexity a shill script can’t understand and is unable to deal with. When I noticed Bitcoin was being heavily shilled, I saw a signal to buy early. This was the catalyst for rethinking everything I was doing. When I noticed that there was blatant fraud in the media about SARS COV 2, I noticed the exact same behavior I had seen before when I struck it rich with Bitcoin. I even went to my audience and said on a podcast, “the market will be back to normal levels in a month… six tops.” I bought the dip, knowing the numbers were fully overblown. My $TSLA experience has been quite enriching. Every day, in the stock trading communities, shills are looking to pump and dump stocks and groups are spending money to illegally manipulate the stock market. However, you can use different ways to monitor social media to detect potential pumps and dumps. If you start seeing the same thing show up on different platforms, among different known shill groups, you know someone has paid for a pump and dump. So long as you have a set, small percentage to gain, you can avoid the pitfalls and get out early. Right now, that is my “edge”, in trading. I don’t feel nearly as obligated to spread the truth to others, since I’ve realigned my priorities. These technological tools for being the first to news items, to new evidence, finding new ways of searching existing information; not only does it help you navigate past censorship, you can use it to make more “realistic” decisions about the world around you. Politics and the stock market are inextricably linked. To be informed on one, is to be informed on the other. When you begin to pull in more intersecting information, like “systems psychodynamics” and overall agendas of differing groups, you are expanding your knowledge and your consciousness so that your intellect has more of a real world impact. When you delve deep into ancient traditions, you will, eventually, learn of alchemy; usually the pursuit of endless wealth or the search for immortality. Day trading well is, essentially, modern day alchemy in that you are making money from thin air. Musicians transform what is in their mind into a product that can be sold. There are many forms of alchemy. Bitcoin is another great example of modern day alchemy. In my humble opinion, augmenting your own well-disciplined intellect with good computing practices can make you a modern day wizard; an alchemist. Many people were saturated with pro-Nihilism marketing and ate it up with their Cheerio's while listening to Nirvana CDs. A couple of generations of nihilists later, combined with portable dopamine trap screens from waking moment 'til slumber, and people are literally having a hard time finding a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Being a successful trader heals a lot of the damage from that consumerist propaganda and forces people to interact with the natural causes of their decision making. The Market is not racist. The only color you have to worry about is green. The market does not celebrate your success or mock your failures. The opinions of critics do not count. The Market does not care about your feelings or anyone else's. All people enter the Market equal and there are no participation awards. There is no busywork. Your test scores do not matter. All that matters are results and that type of black and white simplicity makes the Market the most sane aspect of society, right now. Though most of the obvious stocks have since reached preCovid normality, it has been easy to make money by sorting every ticker by Feb 20 high, then subtract the current price, calculate potential gain when they return to their old price and pick ones that had a high probability of doubling or tripling your money the fastest. I understand it seems tangential, the stock market angle, but when you are routinely called a “conspiracy theorist”, it helps to be as realistic as possible and there is no better way to prove your theories than by putting your money where your mouth is. The stock market is a vessel from which normal people (”retail investors”) are scammed constantly, for the benefit of institutional investors. The Epsteins, the Soros’, all the political elite; they are playing in this realm and they graduated to using AI and machine learning to augment their schemes years ago. In order to understand the elite, you have to understand their playground. In order to compete in the information age, you need to augment your intellect using technology. If nothing else, use it to be meticulously organized. If you get organized in only one aspect of your life, make it your finances. The Democratic party uses the ADA AI, named from Ada Lovelace and a competitor, in 2016, Cambridge Analytica, was used by the Republicans. These AI’s are augmented with databases and metadatabases of everything that can be served up by a social media APIs. They know everything about you and they don’t spy on your microphones, cameras and screenshots to catch you at crimes; they are spying on you in order to better teach you how to vote and spend money. Combined with an army of astroturfing accounts, these AIs are quite good at manipulating what shows up on your screen. This type of censorship is bad for stock traders, researchers and people who just want a few honest answers. In order to compete a bit better, I have taken to making by own custom feeds and scrapers, so that I can database text of many sites and subjects, which then is far easier to search, but is also able to sort information so that I can find what I am looking for in a few minutes, as opposed to trawling the same channels or search engines everyday and learning relatively little. I am really on the hunt for stuff that is voted up or noticed organically and is in that stage before it catches on by a shill group. I incorporate a lot of OSINT tools and I like to collect leaked databases to be able to compare information. It is very helpful to use machine learning to detect what I need as quickly as possible and serve it up to me, first. Applying my own knowledge of how the astroturfing system works, I have developed strategies to target influencers with new and original information and I can quickly and easily get it to them without influencers even knowing I am the source of the information. I just have to identify the correct group to get my message out, then make sure their leaders see the information, who will naturally post it on their own and their followers will naturally vote information up for free. I don’t do this with stocks (questionable legality), but I do feed good news to the right people and I exert a lot less effort to get ideas across all platforms than I used to. No astroturfing groups are into anti-consumerist ideas. “Hydro Homies” and “No Fap” are two great examples that recommend people be anti-consumerist and avoid specific products. As a result, these movements, despite being healthy and productive, have a lot of trouble gaining traction. There is no mainstream push for a truly healthy agenda. All contrived movements must pay to astroturf and shill because, otherwise, embracing their products and ideas is contrary to your well being. No shill group is working to save you money or trying to convince you to make the right decision, for yourself. There are certain messages almost no one will add social media velocity to; detailed instructions on how to report crimes or catch pedophiles, leaked information that hurts both sides of the political spectrum, anything a little too technical or complex. There are already efforts to make hijack the anti-human trafficking crowd. They will be tricked into meaningless pursuits that have no real world consequence. Money will be raised and wasted. News article after news article will be pumped out detailing how everyone is supporting victims and raising awareness. Meanwhile; nobody of consequence is arrested. The mining industry will continue to use forced labor and the networks they use will also feed the sex slavery and domestic servitude and the systemic policies and corrupt politicians will continue on unimpeded. Let’s hope that changes, but it will require a lot more people getting off their asses and getting involved. It will require a lot more people speaking up outside of their echo chambers. Ready. Set. Go.
*Well, it seems that I’ve found myself in the spotlight and have quite a few people as an audience. I guess I’m obligated to address a few things, considering my comment that won the drawing has sparked some controversy. For those out of the loop, this is the comment: “NIGGA Nigga nigga pay for my lunch tomorrow Oh and merry christmas” Honestly, I wrote it for fun, not really contemplating the repercussions nor its potential to offend were it to be chosen as the winning comment because I simply did not think it would win. I will admit what I wrote was rude and disrespectful. For my lack of consideration, I sincerely apologize. Where I live, the term is part of our vernacular. It’s colloquial, and inappropriate slang sometimes at worst. No one bats an eye if you use it, regardless of your race. I also understand many folks are not deciding to donate because of this, that is fine too. Again, I am apologizing to everyone I offended. (I had this song in my head as I wrote the “racist” comment for those curious https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiLpyfD-AGI i think it’s hilarious) HOWEVER, some of you people are blowing it waaay out of proportion, and I’ll take any downvotes gracefully because knowing they came from people whose jimmies got rustled from a term widely used in songs, online, in media, and frankly large portions of society doesn’t sting all that bad. For fuck sakes, it’s 2016, not 1860, and had I said “nigger” instead of “nigga”, then the outlash would be warranted. There’s a reason you don't hear the former being used. Don’t have such strong opinions on things you don’t know much about. I triple dog dare someone to go into my profile overview and find one instance of me being actually racist, by the word’s actual definition. In other words, find me actually bigoted, biased, and discriminatory towards any ethnicity. I promise I haven’t deleted anything besides a few cringe posts that showed my face or were from my high school blunder years. Get back to me on that if you do. On the topic of my profile, I would also like to point out that some of you made me chuckle when you think this account is actually a porn alt account. That’s really funny. You bunch are some real talented sleuths. Yes, I use reddit to find porn, almost exclusively. If you check, it is apparent that I’ve commented on a litany of nsfw subreddits. But the thing a lot of you people who think I’m a porn fanatic failed to also see (or ignored) was that I’ve also commented on various video game, computer, skincare, media, and all subreddits. For the past four years no less. Who uses a porn alt for all that? Quit nit picking to find the bits that you find convenient to use as evidence, because people with actual sense will look at the whole picture. Stop trying to comb through my profile to find substance that you can twist to make me look bad, because that’s plain pathetic and petty. As for the claims that I’m undeserving, an asshole, or an idiot, I’ll just say that people are entitled to their own opinions. It’s just that if you form that opinion based off one edgy comment without actually explaining why, it’d be wise to maybe not have such strong opinions on things you know nothing about, as I’ve stated earlier. Ironically enough, some of you people are withholding on your gentlemen’s agreement to pitch in when you’ve clearly stated you would in your entry comment. That’s more than enough information for people to form well based opinions off of. Just saying. For insight into who I am, I’ll make it short. I am 18, heading into college, enjoy memes, enjoy video games like Red Dead Redemption. I’ve loved poetry since my ap lit class in senior year, god bless you Mrs.Lim(Traveling through the Dark is one of my faves, look it up if ya want). Portrait photography is great, and I love drawn art. My instagram feed is basically artists who use photoshop and draw sketches. In high school I spent time as part of a youth group that hosted youth led festivals for the community. I hope to major in computer science or engineering. I’m including this in case some of you forgot I’m an actual person, and not the embodiment of an edgy comment lol I also want to thank everyone who supported me since the controversy sparked, you da real mvps I know much of the community will not donate because of this ordeal because somehow that would support racism(??? As if the rules, spirit, and idea of this sub didn’t matter, and any money donated will go directly to kkk rally funding lol) but regardless, I still hope you all a very, very, merry christmas. Cheers, with a little salt and love, iamchangalang* EDIT: As of 2pm EST, donations have reached: $617.28 This is already more than I could ever ask, I'll be tallying up the totals every few hours to keep you guys updated though!!! Also, upvote your fellow redditors, spread some points around folks c: I'd also like to thank JungleSumTimes as his generous donation of $20 just completely blew my mind, and to anyone who decided to go out of their way to donate more than a dollar, it's craaazy how generous some of you are Big shout out to RunAMuckGirl as well for their extreme kindness and support during the height of the controversy, the reassurance was definitely invaluable to me I'll be back on soon folks c: EDIT2: As of midnight EST, donations have reached: $852.35 This is amazing, I honestly do not know what to say, other than thank you all so much! I wasn't expecting anywhere near this much because of the controversy, but you guys are proving me wrong with the generosity! Also, let me know if there's a better way to keep you guys updated on the numbers! I'd be really psyched if we surpassed the 1k mark and want to let you all know if that happens! EDIT3: As of 3:30 AM EST, donations have reached: $1016.36 IM SO PSYCHED YOU FOLKS MADE IT POSSIBLE TO REACH THE 1K MARK. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH THANK YOU AGAIN This part is written by the mods: All of the amounts below should result in iamchangalang receiving about $1 USD Methods of payment: Tipbots
Music Discussion Thread - 11/3 *back from the dead edition*
What up guys, as some of you might have noticed there was no music thread last Friday. Hand up, I was battling a BRUTAL halloween party hangover at work and just couldn't get it done. But we're back at full strength this week so let's get in to it. Edit: shoutout to the mods for pinning this! NEW RELEASES: DJ Premier feat A$AP Ferg - "Our Streets" -Old school meets new school. Classic boom bap beat from premier and Ferg flows almost effortlessly over the beat. A$AP Ferg's stock rising faster than bitcoin. CyHi the Prynce feat. Kanye West - "Dat Side" -Holy shit we got a normal guest verse from Kanye! His verse is reminiscent of Late Registration/Graduation. New album coming from Cyhi, which I'm looking forward to because I feel like he kind of fell behind the rest of GOOD music, especially once big sean took off. Chris Stapleton - "Scarecrow In The Garden -THIS is what country music should sound like. I'm not even a huge country guy in the slightest but Chris Stapleton just has that old-school, rugged country sound. Really excited for the full album, due out December 1st. N.E.R.D feat Rihanna - "Lemon" -First track out of N.E.R.D after a long ass hiatus, and new album now rumored but no official release date. If this song is any preview, we should be excited. On top of that, Rihanna flows on this song caught me off guard at how good it was. Need a full album of that Rihanna flow, fuck singing. Album from The Used, The Canyon -Haven't thought about The Used since middle school like 10 years ago but here we are with a new album. First thoughts are that this album feels much different than anything else they've put out. Much less angsty, screaming post-hardcore but a more emotional, introspective sound. I'm liking the album as a whole after first listen, but it does run a little long with 17 tracks. "Over and Over" is their best single in a LONG time, but other recommendations are "Moving The Mountain" and "Broken Windows". Side note, the name Bert McCracken would be such a ridiculous name if he weren't the lead singer of a band. Statik Selektah feat. Run The Jewels - "Put Jewels On It" -Statik Selektah is possibly the most underrated producer in hip-hop right now. Such a good single right here off Statik's upcoming album, and El-p and Killer Mike don't play around on this one. Song makes me want to go ape shit sitting at my desk. If you're not familiar with Statik Selektah's production, check out "82 92" feat Mac Miller, "Carry On feat. Joey Badass and Freddie Gibbs, and "White Silk" feat. Action Bronson Lil Uzi Vert feat. Nicki Minaj - "The Way Life Goes" remix -Probably the best song off *Luv Is Rage 2" gets the remix treatment with a verse from Nicki. More or less a typical Nicki verse but this song is so damn catchy I had to include it. Album from Anti-Flag, American Fail -10th studio album from the punk rock legends. Obviously a pretty politically charged album given the album title, but they don't actually mention Trump anywhere. One of the Anti-Flag members actually said in an interview "Trump is a symptom, he’s not the disease. It’s far more about us collectively combating the disease than the symptoms" which is pretty damn accurate. Regardless, I think long time Anti-Flag fans will enjoy this album. Highlights for me are "Racists", "The Criminals" and the ska influenced "When The Wall Falls". Album from 21 Savage/Metro Boomin/Offset, Without Warning -Obviously big news of the week with this album essentially coming from out of nowhere. I don't know if it's Metro Boomin producing amazing beats, or if mumble rap is just growing on me, but I legitimately enjoyed some of the songs off this album. "Ric Flair Drip" is a certified banger. Some tracks, mainly the 21 savage ones, feel like they drag on a little bit and are a little boring to me. "Darth Vader" and "Rap Saved Me" are other recommendations for me. EP from Skepta, Vicious -GRIME BOYS MATE! Didn't love most of the EP actually just because I'm not a huge grime fan, but "Ghost Ride" feat A$AP Rocky and Nast is a great song worth checking out. Mick Jenkins - "Vampire In Brooklyn" -I feel like the biggest Mick Jenkins dick rider ever but he's legitimately in my opinion a top 10 rapper out right now. New full length album coming very soon. Anyone whos unfamiliar, check out "P's and Q's and "Slumber" to get you started. Album from Maroon 5, Red Pill Blues -Big pop release of the week, felt obligated to include it. "What Lovers Do" feat SZA and "Whiskey" feat. A$AP Rocky are standouts for me. Liam Gallagher - spotify sessions -Just a couple acoustic performances from England's finest. That song "Wonderwall" is great, but you guys have probably never heard of it. OTHER STUFF I'VE BEEN LISTENING TO THIS WEEK: -Seeing The Used drop a new album sent me down a rabbit hole of post-hardcore shit I listened to way back in the day in middle school/early high school. Got a couple nice throwbacks for you guys below. Yes, I'm aware some of these bands seem super corny now but 10 years ago they were hot in the streets. Senses Fail - "Irony of Dying on Your Birthday" A Skylit Drive - "Wires And The Concept Of Breathing" Chiodos - "All Nereids Beware" Underoath - "Reinventing Your Exit" OTHER RANDOM STUFF -Octagon Bob posted that blog about the rock n roll supergroup, and I thought it was a great question just becuase there are so many combinations and none of them are wrong or right. I decided to write my own post about it which you can check out here if you're interested. My lineup I decided to go with was: -Vocals: Stevie Nicks -Guitar: Carlos Santana -Bass: Les Claypool -Drums: Questlove I love this lineup, but would love to hear everyone else's if you came up with one. Anyway I'm hitting up a couple shows this weekend/next week so hopefully going to be able to write up a review on the blog. Let me know what you guys are listening to in the comments!
I maintain that 2014 was an unusually bad year, and a huge number of amazingly terrible events are concentrated in that year. #CancelColbert "CancelColbert" became a trending hashtag, thanks to Twitter activist Suey Park. The hashtag claimed that Stephen Colbert was racist for using "ching chong chinaman" as a part of his act, even though was obviously a joke meant to mock and satirize racists, not be one. The hashtag backfired and pretty much ruined Suey Park's life, as well as contributing to the over-sensitive social justice environment that most people agreed was terrible. But later it was announced that the humorous and successful Colbert Show would indeed be ending for unrelated reasons. Russian invasion of Ukraine In the first territorial conquest in Europe since World War II, in early 2014 Russia invaded and annexed the Crimea, and then went on to invade Ukraine. Obama didn't really stand up hard to Putin, he refused to even call it an invasion. The US and EU imposed some weak sanctions that didn't really do anything to move Putin. MH370 disappearance A large jet disappeared over Southeast Asia and no one has been able to find out. In addition to the loss of life, this was the start of a years long nightmare for the families of the victims, who have been tortured by endless inquiries and false hopes up to this day. It also resulted in a massive expenditure of resources in the search that ended up with nothing. Rise of ISIS No explanation needed. The rise of an explicitly theocratic, and totalitarian state in the Middle East that would result in a great deal more violence, including the beheading of journalists, happened this year. It extended the Syrian civil war and ended any hope of a legitimate opposition to Assad. Newsweek Satoshi Nakamoto story Newsweek published a story claiming to unmask the founder of Bitcoin, Satoshi Nakamoto, but this was proven to be false. All that was accomplished was an apparently unrelated man got a ton of unwanted worldwide attention, and the journalist's highest profile story of her career blew up, and millions of people were misled in the process. Michael Brown shooting An 18 year old African American man was shot to death by the police. This led to massive riots and unrest in Ferguson, Missouri, which ended up with yet another person dead, a police officer's life was ruined. The entire community of Ferguson was heavily damaged in the resulting violence, and racial tension exploded across the country after this. Polls of how people view race relations, which had been steady for decades, suddenly took a nosedive and we are still in a period of negative race relations now. MH17 shootdown Some rebels supplied by the Russian government shot down MH17 - the same airline that suffered the MH370 disappearance. It's such a tragedy for the airline to lose two planes in one year, through no apparent fault of its own. The shooters will never be held responsible because the Russian government will protect them. Ebola Virus Disease Ebola is a horrible disease that makes you bleed from your pores until you die. But until 2014, it was thought to be confined to Central Africa and easily controllable to very small outbreaks. But that year there was a huge outbreak in West Africa that killed tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of people. They will be forgotten because they were born in a poor developing country. Also some of the brave doctors and nurses who went to help were at high risk and many of them got Ebola and died. Murder of Felina Felina was a twitter citizen activist who rallied her fellow Mexicans to report criminal activity in Mexico's drug war through tweets. In this year, the gangs somehow tracked her down, knocked on her door. They forced her to tweet out a picture of herself looking defeated, then later tweeted out a picture of her dead body from her account. The drug lords sent a message that they were king, and the drug war has been accelerating in Mexico ever since. #GamerGate A massive controversy erupted online over games journalism, a seemingly obscure topic that nonetheless marked the beginning of the alt right. A lot of people like Milo Yiannopolis and Mike Cernovich first started getting really popular around this time. The alt right had its first big wins and basically took over the Internet. This was the beginning of today's online alt right and alt lite influence. It also resulted in a lot of people getting harassed and bullied online with no effective defense. "A Rape on Campus" Probably the worst piece of journalism of the decade. Sabrina Erdely and Rolling Stone published a liar's completely implausible account of being raped by a fraternity at UVA. After going massively viral, after a week or two the story turned out to be false, Rolling Stone didn't even verify basic facts or try to interview the accused. The fraternity was defamed, and real rape victims ever since then have had a harder time being believed. The story damaged Rolling Stone so bad, it contributed to the magazine's being sold off a couple years later. Iggy Azalea called out for cultural appropriation Iggy Azalea, a white Australian rapper, was called out for cultural appropriation, which is when a person of the wrong race uses the cultural symbols or clothing of another group. This is a completely stupid controversy since culture is by nature fluid and every race has borrowed and borrows from what other groups have made throughout history. Yet it has become something people bully each other over. Iggy was bullied out of the industry despite having some great songs and doing what she loved. Republicans gain the Senate Alright, if you're a Republican you probably don't consider this bad news, but if you're a centrist or a liberal it's definitely bad, since it means that the centrist judge Merrick Garland didn't get confirmed to the Supreme Court and now we will have 5-6 or more conservative judges on the court, completely wrecking its balance. Even if you're a conservative, the fact that the Republicans didn't even hold hearings on Garland's nomination was wrong. Hillary Clinton decides to run for president Apparently in December of this year is when Hillary Clinton decided to run for president. The Hillary Clinton campaign was one of the biggest disasters in history. She had to go through scandal after scandal, and the end result was two candidates that the majority of the country didn't like. We've been going into a more and more divisive political time ever since then. In conclusion, 2014 was the worst year I'd say since 1997. Many negative events and/or trends started then, that are at the root of all our problems today. It's really remarkable how they all managed to happen in 2014. CMV.
This is a footnote from the CMV moderators. We'd like to remind you of a couple of things. Firstly, pleaseread through our rules. If you see a comment that has broken one, it is more effective to report it than downvote it. Speaking of which,downvotes don't change views! Any questions or concerns? Feel free tomessage us. Happy CMVing!
Tails of The Blender, the "All Bard" party, and how our all-'good' party became chaotic evil sky-pirates
As a bit of background, our DM decided he wanted to do a higher level campaign. He allowed us to each start with 1 rare and 1 uncommon magic item. He also decided that he wanted to DM an all-bard party (he may be a masochist). Thus begins the tale of murder and salsa. Mostofthishappenedseveralweeksago,soIdon'trememberthe details
Be me: Matthias Großendinger, AKA the gnome of variable height, and the sole designer, manufacturer and distributor of the World-famous miniature subacontrabass, as well as the head guild artisan of the Guild of Bass Also be Level 10 chaotic good pure bard famous throughout the land Be party: level 10 bard, level 10 bard, level 10 bard (some of them were multiclassing, but I wasn't really paying attention) Party is mostly either chaotic or lawful good The campaign starts with us meeting the king. He called us together to form the best band in the land. He wanted us to work our way to his brother, who was the duke of the neigboring kingdom Apparently some shit was going on and he needed to speak to his brother about something, but the Duke was really suspicious and refused to meet I'm doing my Bardly duty and not really paying attention, but he basically wanted us to gain the Duke's trust using the power of song (and maybe some magical suggestive lyrics) Be newly formed band: Bongwater Revival. But first, lemmetakeasidequest.gif Some rebels in the capital city that want to stir up shit for some reason. King wants us to 'take care' of them We break into the manor that they are using as a base of operations After taking significant damage clearing the first room, we decide to take a quick nap Bard #2 casts Leomund's Tiny Hut, which protects us and allows us to take a short rest. We song of rest circle-jerk to full HP with a short rest. Moving on to the next room, we are fighting the head of the rebels. And a animate suit of armor And an elephant... Be me, shitty player who doesn't really play spellcaster much Going through me spells, figuring out which does the most damage. Find 'Erupting Earth', which does 3d12 damage to everything within a 20-foot cube. Except you add 1d12 for every level above 3rd And thus begins the saga of The BlenderTM Cast Blender at 5th level, targeting both the elephant and the boss 5d12.png Elephant is all but dead, boss is bloodied by the time it is my turn again ICastItAgain.OPAF Elephant and boss defeated, armor already dead, we can move on the the main quest
End of session
We start out by buying several wagons and forming a caravan, then we set out for the Duke. On our way there we come across a rather large farming town After we perform there, we meet with the mayor at a feast. Apparently there are some monsters residing in a cave system connected to the old mine that are attacking the city. We head to the house of an old farmer, the only person to have ever entered the cave and live. He agrees to tell us everything he knows... under one condition He wants to know if we are tough enough to survive BitchPlease.jpeg Be Bard #3, AKA knife bard. (He has a bag of holding full of 500 daggers) He pulls out his magic flaming dagger Wanna know how tough I am? He stabs himself in the shoulder. CriticalHit.OOF Takes like 20 damage Farmer turns to the rest of us "Well, you certainly are crazy, but are you tough enough to make it? If you can retrieve my axe from that tree, I'll tell you everything I know." He throws his axe and sticks it into the top of a tree Be Bard #4, AKA only player worse than me Have dimensional door, don't use it. Be Knife Bard Have fly, don't use it. Be me, roll dex to climb tree Eventually make it to the top and try to pull out the axe -1 strength Tie rope to it instead and drop it down so party can help KeepRollingTillItWorks.zip He tells us what he knows, apparently there are some drow in the caves. Having gained almost no useful knowledge, we head to the mine that leads to the cave. We pass through a room full of poisonous mushrooms Rollcon.gif 2 members fail... 5 total damage Party moves on Enter huge cavern, nearly 300 feet in diameter Half of the cavern is just a pit to nothingness We all feel an 'evil vibe' coming from the bottom Foreshadowing.png There are a bunch of drow in the room SneakAttack.bitch 4 of them are standing within 20 feet of eachother ThisIsMyTime.jar Cast Blender, Krewe de gras-ing two of them, leaving the other two nearly dead. Combat is mostly uneventful, we kill all of the drow before any can run away But now we feel rumbling throughout the cavern I come up with a great plan: I'll fly up to the ceiling and cast blender on the roof of the cavern, causing over 3 million pounds of rock to fall on its head Except it doesn't come from the pit, it comes from the middle of the ground It's a gargantuan purple worm OhShit.exe It suprise attacks the party and then dives back into the earth I ready an action: as soon as I see it again I'm going to blend it. Most of the party is grouped up all together like a bunch of idiots The worm comes out from beneath them, dealing massive damage My readied action activates, and I cast 6th level blender on the worm... and my party One of them goes down, two other are nearly dead AcceptableCasualties.Womble The ground by the cliff crumbles, taking out downed party member with it. The worm did it I swear A couple rounds pass and we kill it We loot several tens of thousands gold worth of gems from in it, and prepare to rest for the night. Before we can rest, a drow priestess approaches us and asks what happened Plus13Deception.TooEasy Knife bard decides to be diplomatic and try to be peaceful We explain how we ventured into the cave hoping to speak to the drow about bringing peace between them and the village, but the purple worm attacked when we arrived cough ... and killed all of the drow in the cavern... those totally *aren't** stab wounds on your friends* She buys it, and agrees to let us set up a meeting to negotiate peace.
End of session. Next session is a week later, and knife bard is busy, so we played as though his character was just unconscious
After we wake up from our rest, we notice that one of our members is still asleep. SlapDatBitch.exe After he still doesn't wake up, we make a litter and decide to exit the cavern Somehow the entrance we came through collapsed Wasn'tMeISwear.wmp We move on deeper into the cavern searching for a way out On the way we find a big guy completely covered in black armor tied up on an alter Seems like a nice enough fellow, we untie him and invite him to join us in place of our fallen comrade We have to go talk to their god if we want to take her sacrifice Go into another giant cavern. We're standing on a cliff about 20 feet wide. In front of us is a cliff, and 100 feet down is a huge pitch black lake. This all looks pretty normal We hear a voice in our heads promising us all of our wishes if we follow her NahBitch.ImGoodThanks She's tells us that if we want to leave the cavern, we have to jump into the water Yeah, that's not suspicious at all Once again, nobody bothers to use their useful spells, like dimension door, fly, or jump We the all of our rope together, and the black knight decides to try to jump to the shore It's only 100 feet down and like 150 feet away. He lands about 15 feet from the shore and his knees crumple, so he's prone in the water A bunch of tentacles come out and start attacking him They try to, at least 28AC.StatBoost A couple rounds pass and bard #5 is blasting the aboleth with sacred flame As a gnome, I way about 55 pounds - counting all of my equipment. Black Night has gotten onto the shore and is bracing against the rope now I hand the other end of the rope to bard #4 and zip line down to the shore I land a couple feet from shore and take some hits, but pass all of my con saves so I don't have anything major happen Having used most of my spell slots earlier, I decide to go whack it with my sword Decent damage, but I have to make a con save Roll pretty good, get a 5 "You find it getting harder and harder to breath, and your skin starts to feel itchy Jump back into the water GuessImAFishNow.Shit Bard #4 tries to zip line down, but falls off about halfway across. He gets cursed with fish skin too, but can still breath normally Like the next round we kill the aboleth Bard #5 ties the rope to knife board's body and ziplines down Black knight decides to pull the body off of the 100 foot cliff, and through the 150 feet of lake. By some miracle he is still alive by the time BK drags him to shore I swim to shore and tell our cleric-bard (bard #5) that I have a disease and can't breath air ICanHelpWithThat.snakeoil Casts dispel magic WTFMan.rage BRO I SAID IT WAS A DISEASE, NOW I HAVE TO REATTUNE TO MY SHIT WTF 15 minutes later and I'm magical again Before we can make our plan, the drow priestess comes in onto the ledge. Apparently it had tricked the drow into thinking it was their god. Oops We roll initiative and prepare for combat I start swimming towards the base of the cliff I'm still "cursed", so I can breath underwater and don't have to surface Complete stealth mode engaged IRL I start cackling like a madman with a crazy look in my eyes The party realizes what's going on and the start laughing too A second later the DM realizes what's about to happen and just sighs and facepalms as he accepts his fate 3 turns later and I get within range Party is mostly okay, flying spiders have driven bard #5 into the water, and BK is running away like a Bitch Knife Bard is somehow still alive, even though he is being eaten alive by flying spiders I cast BlenderTM at 6th level Out of nowhere, the cliff explodes around the priestess and her companions I roll crazy well, 70 damage Her thugs are vaporized into a fine red mist, and she is left at 1 HP, falling to her death She casts levitate and floats down to the water safely ,then tries to swim away I was prepared for her. I cast vicious mockery I ask her "What's the difference between a drow and salsa? DramaticPause.wav "Not much after they've been through The BlenderTM " Black knight comes back to the group with his tail between his legs Cleric Bard casts feign death on me and bard #4 to temporarily cancel the affects of our diseases. They grab both of us and knife bard and start hiking towards the cave exit After an hour they have just left the cave, and feign death wears off ICantBreath.helpme BardCleric casts feign death on me, but is out of spell slots for bard #4 He can breath, he just takes damage from being really itchy We make it back to town, and head to the local church I can breath again, but we both are still fishskin cursed They priests heal us, and to thank them I donate 33 platinum to the church They about have a seizure from my generosity IHaveNoUseForThisMoney.kek We go tell the mayor that we took care of the drow DefinitlyArentAnyMindFlayers.NotOurProblem He is really fucking suprised, we took care of the problem that has been plaguing them for many years in like 6 hours WowThanks.bat Gives us a kickass cornucopia that makes food and can cast hero's feast once a day Also gives us a shitton of sweet midevil bitcoin We're really fucking rich now Bard #4 (who has just told us that he is a pirate?) decides to buy a ballistae and mount it on his wagon in the caravan Black knight decides to use his money to buy an airship, but has to ask bard #5 for money Bard #5 gives away all of his money We are woken early the next morning by the sounds of the rest of the drow approaching with an army of giant spiders ManTheBallistea.THUNK We are fighting the giantest spider while the militia takes on the others Bard #4 shoots the ballistae but misses Bard #5 Uses Sacred Flame I look at its eight spindly legs "Lets see how well it can fight without legs" Cast BlenderTM at the spider Immobilized, we easily finish it off We beat the rest of the army to oblivion Tired of their shit, we go back to the cave (which happens to be the top layer of the underdark) and raid all of their shit... that is, we raid the entire upper underdark ItHasBegun.TheEndIsNigh
End of session
We head out for the Duke's kingdom (We are now level 13) The trip should take about 5 days On the first day nothing happens On the second day a storm begins to brew The sky gets darker as the day goes on A couple of hours later, we see an army appear over the horizon It is the skeleton of bard #2 - who had sworn vengeance - leading an army of 1,000 skeletons Lol.Nope I cast my new 7th level teleportation spell and bring us to the city We arrive without incident Guards don't know what magic is, get pissed at us for teleporting They let us into the city (because we hadn't done anything wrong) But first, the pull me and BK aside and tell us not to cause any trouble The entire city is massively racist Oh, did I mention BK is riding a Nightmare? Through the middle of a massive city Where nobody really knows about magic The guards tell him to get off, but he refuses Meanwhile, I cast disguise self so I look like a dwarf. I still get glared at, so I change into a short human Gaurds approach us They want to arrest me for being a shapeshifter LolYouWannaTryMe.bitch I start casting disguise self every six seconds, making myself taller and shorter, as well as messing with my facial features. Because I have a magic hat that allows me to do this it doesn't take any spell slot BK grabs me and uses his horse to enter the ethereal plane Shortly later, wanted posters appear for the Black Night and the Gnome of Variable Height Meanwhile, the rest of the party is at an inn getting information Apparently there is a rebellion going on here led by a bunch of cultists Knife Bard gets kicked out for trying to juggle his flaming knife Once outside, he casts disguise self, and walks back in as Pastamania Hulk Hogan MFW "WHERE CAN I JOIN THE REBELLION BROTHER?" Did I say chaotic good? I meant chaotic stupid. Undercover agents at the inn go and arrest him He uses dimension door to get away, and then undisguises New wanted poster: Pastamania Hulk Hogan BK and I have rejoined the party at the inn The rebel base is set up right outside of town I still think we should go speak to the duke, but the party decides to go undercover and sneak into the base Pirate and Cleric bard climb onto black knight's horse, while knife bard and I disguise ourselves and we approach the rebel's gate "Hi, can we join your cult?" "Uhuuhhh, sure..." Black Knight decides to exit the ethereal plane at this moment Rebels blow there horns and start screaming that they are under attack Cleric bard decides to be diplomatic Wait, we just didn't want to be spotted heading towards the camp We all get kicked out, but cleric bard manages to convince them that he is a cleric of Bane (The god they worship) He is now locked into the rebel camp The rest of the party (except for me) hops onto BK's horse and follow them while hidden in the ethereal plane The cultists decide to tell the new guy everything, and give him a tour of the camp They have an iron golem, but they need more magic people to awaken it, so they have some reinforcements coming later that day They are planning on attacking the city tonight Knife bard uses message to tell cleric bard that we are going to burn the place down He manages to leave As soon as we see he left, we start a brush fire about 60 feet away and Knife bard summons wind to whip the flames into a raging inferno He lies down behind it and does nothing else for the entire encounter I use BlenderTM and start tearing down walls and buildings Black Knight polymorphs into a battle rink and starts trampling buildings and people Pirate bard is riding the nightmare and shooting at the guards Meanwhile, cleric bard is running towards the city to get help We slaughter all of them and raze the fort Cleric bard gets back just as we finish killing the ones who didn't burn alive After that massive slaughter, Black Knight invites us all to join him in following the god of pain WhyNot. ¯\(ツ)/¯ We escape to the airship which had just arrived in town and flee the area The remaining cultists try to attack the city but fail miserably The Duke uses this as an excuse to declare war on the king Meanwhile, we have become sky murder hobos. Cleric bard's old character is now leading a quest to capture us, so his player has to make a new one
The party decided to measure how badly we screwed over the DM's plans by using the Henderson scale. The Henderson Scale of Plot Derailment is the standard way to measure how badly we fucked everything up. It goes from -1 (The party finishes the campaign in exactly the way the DM planned) to 2 in intervals of .25
We agree that we have reached a 1.75 on the scale, meaning that we have caused the entire plot and any subplots to be derailed. "It has ruined the game, and likely caused the GM to begin seizing, attempt to strangle the perpetrator, laugh uncontrollably, or just sit there in shock."
It's funny how accurate the scale is, as the DM had reacted on most of those ways
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04-03 13:44 - 'Just so I’m clear here. / Using the term nigga that is a term of endearment in parts of the black community is unacceptable and offensive. However blindly branding strangers racist a far more disgusting term is fair game. Whe...' by /u/dukepooopa removed from /r/Bitcoin within 4-14min
''' Just so I’m clear here. Using the term nigga that is a term of endearment in parts of the black community is unacceptable and offensive. However blindly branding strangers racist a far more disgusting term is fair game. When you have no clue to the build of their true character. I’d be willing to bet people like you are feebly reinforcing segregation and slanging “reverse hate speech” really actual hate speech is justified because you feel as if you are being just? -Wrong Brass tacks you are ignant it’s not your fault you feel like you are answering a divine calling. It’s just too bad feelings don’t run the world. As long as we are flinging cracker and honkey around on top 40 pop songs and nigger and nigga plague hip hop and r&b imma nig on nigga free speech belongs to all of us not just self inflicted ignorant social justice underdogs. See also: Fuck, Shit, Cunt, Pussy, Dick, Bitch etc. the list goes on and on and on. All of these words offend some people. So by your logic we should only listen to some blacks and self loathing whites in regard to what words are acceptable? Take away free speech for everyone? Or offend everyone equally. What would a truly free and just movement promote? ''' Context Link Go1dfish undelete link unreddit undelete link Author: dukepooopa
So I’m just going to leave my life’s story here for everyone. I might need serious help, I’m not sure. Lately I’ve been having something happen that concerns me where I mutter stuff out of nowhere, like I say things I didn’t mean to say. It never happens when I’m around people, only when I’m alone and I can stop if I catch myself. The stuff I say is usually weird and bad. Some specific stuff: “N-word” (And I’m not racist or anything), “Stupid, idiot. I could kill him.” “I hate him/I hate it.”,”I love you”, “I could I would. I could and I will.“, and (this is actually real) I say stuff like “slice, dice, chop, tear” a lot. There are no conscious streams of thought connecting to these words. I don’t know why I say them. Another thing that’s been more recent is some particularly violent dreams. One where I basically kept tearing someone’s head off, it regrowing so I could do it again, and screaming at them because they had been trying to push me around. Another time I just kind of shot down a bunch of people who were ninjas or something, but I remember specifically in the dream they were supposed to be “good guys” and I just wanted to kill them. The most disturbing one, which I woke up from immediately because it was so disgusting, was where my youngest brother (Who I love and am proud of to put it out there) slipped on the sidewalk, and when I went to pick him up I asked if he was alright he said “No.” in a very vivid about-to-cry way and I was horrified to see that his entire face was embedded deeply with staples. The dream was so realistic and gory. I immediately started to freak out and tried to help him pull the staples out but then I woke up with one of those really scared “What the fuck was that” feelings. This is a recent thing that is pretty infrequent. And at first it was crazy to me because my first thought was: I’m not violent. I don’t fight people. I don’t want to fight anyone. I don’t want to kill anybody. But I started analyzing myself a bit more and I realized I may have been putting off, basically my whole life, some pretty fucked up stuff that’s happened to me and that I’ve done to other people. So I guess I’ll start with where I am now and then go backward. Currently I consider myself well-adjusted. I just graduated college with a degree in Finance, I have IT experience in the reserves, and I’m staying with some family in the city (I grew up in a small town) working part time stocking shelves while I look for something full time in finance/IT. I have some good friends, but none who live near me right now and none who I would open up to about this sort of thing. I’ve had one girlfriend a year ago (More on that later.) But other than that I don’t do very good with girls, I don’t have a girlfriend right now. I spend a LOT of time by myself. In college I was the same way. I used to get very lonely, every once in awhile I still do, but for the most part I’m fine with it. I spend a lot of time learning, at least recently. Now that I’m older suddenly I found out I have more ability to concentrate on things and absorb info. Since I’m out of college I have more time to learn whatever I enjoy, so for the first time I feel like I’m some sort of superhuman hopping across Wikipedia pages and tutorials. I like computer science, finance/economics, history, current events, anatomy and physiology, and whatever other subjects I stumble across. Now the unnormal stuff: Up until now I’ve liked to pretend this stuff just isn’t a part of me. I completely ignore it. So I work out a lot, which is something that I feel like really helps my emotional health over all. I work out roughly 2 hours a day 6 days a week, and I’m very proud of how I look and feel now. I started working out in high school because I got picked on and was rejected by girls, so at first it was really hate and envy that motivated me. I don’t necessarily feel that way now, but everytime I workout its still the same: I fantasize about a bonfire, or a party where there is a group of people from high school or college (Never the army, because I actually like people in the reserves and feel like I belong there.) And I take on and fight the biggest douchebag or multiple douchebags from whichever place and I just like stand there in my awesomeness. Sometimes It’s just that, sometimes I’m also rich and I have a “posse” or bodyguards who I don’t need. Sometimes I monologue basically about how I got to where I was and how the things I had overcome. Narcissistic and ridiculous I know. Like I said before, even though this scenario runs through my head at least 2 hours a day six days a week I just pretend like that’s normal. And if I don’t run that sort of fantasy through my head I can’t work out as effectively. The other thing is sexual. WARNING - NSFW ….. So when I had a girlfriend for a few months I’d have sex and it was fine. Normal sex, the weirdest we’d ever do is tie each other’s hands. She liked being spanked. So that was normal, and for the most part the relationship was normal. But for as long as a I can remember, even in high school, the only way I can orgasm when masturbating is through BDSM porn. Usually pretty intense stuff. I don’t like blood or cuts, but I like seeing physical pain. Usually a woman dominating a man. Over time it’s gotten darker. When I stop I just go about my life and I act normal, but now that I think about it it’s pretty odd to orgasm to the sounds of people screaming in pain. This has become normal for me. So when I at first thought “I don’t want to hurt anybody, what’s going on?” I started to analyze and realize “Oh, yeah. That stuff.” So how did it get this way? I guess I’ll go back to childhood. I was homeschooled until sixth grade. 5th/6th grade are I think when problems started at home. My dad was a serious alcoholic. He still is but he’s at least mellow. Back then he wasn’t. Some examples: 8th grade summer: This is the only time he ever hit me when I was being kind of shitty because I didn’t want to go dig a fucking ditch to find a leaking pipe. For context: We had all been digging that stupid ditch for days and couldn’t find anything. I knew he didn’t know what he was doing and the pipe probably wasn’t even on that side of the house. We never found that pipe but I wound up digging that ditch again. He was drunk midday, smacked me across the face. I cried and tried to kind of get at him and yelled “I’ll kill you. I hate you” and he just kind of forced me back in the chair and I think he realized he went too far, but he just said “You’re not big enough or strong enough yet.” …fuck that kind of explains a lot. I’m kind of starting to cry while I write this. Another time he showed up to one of my cross country meets, I think 9th grade, totally drunk out of his mind. Another time he hit my mom and she being an idiot made him drive us to church on a Wednesday night so she could have “couple’s therapy” and her jaw hurt so she claimed she couldn’t drive. He was drunk Mom. He was drunk. We were swerving all over across the road there were cars beeping at us going the wrong way, they were screaming at each other, my little brothers were in front of me crying and I just was in the very back seat trying to meditate or something. I just tried to stay calm. I feel like I was the only one in the car that realized what mortal peril we were in and I guess I was getting ready to die or something. The next morning, like every time something like that happened, we all pretended like it didn’t. Last one: One time he was wasted in the middle of the day. I was just in the bathroom on the toilet. He tried the knob and saw it was locked and a split second later he kicked the door in so hard it flew against the opposite wall so I was just sitting on the toilet freaked out. He just muttered “Oh thought it was locked.” I was shaking. Like what the fuck. I actually did keep a knife under my mattress at one point, to prepare for something crazy like that. Now my relationship with my dad now is pretty mellow, but we never really came to terms with any of that stuff. We act like it never happened. He won’t even admit he did most of it. In my family we do very poorly with emotions. My brothers and I are very close for instance but we can’t say I love you to one another. I have a hard time saying it to anyone but my Mom. So I went into public school in 6th grade because my dad was first starting to get worse and my mom and him would fight all the time, very loudly, and divorce was on the table (But it never happened…they’ve just slept in a separate room all this time) and my mom felt like she didn’t have the energy to homeschool anymore. So I went into school with absolutely no social skills at all. I was a stand out weirdo and I remember for stuff like gym class I would literally just stand there. I had no confidence. I couldn’t muster whatever it took to try to catch the ball, and I always felt like there was so much pressure to try to impressed the other kids and be good. So they weren’t very impressed by me. I walked around with my arms folded behind my back for some reason. I didn’t really understand the social suicide I was committing. I’d say the next six years were just a really slow stumbling through trying to understand other humans and particularly the kids my age. In 7th grade my Mom started to just “check out.” Because her mom died who she had had serious unresolved issues with. So she went into a really depressed state for a couple years, and I think that made things harder. In 9th grade there was a girl I became obsessed with. We had been friends awhile, so I let her know I had feelings for her. She had a boyfriend who was VERY important to her at the time. So that whole cliché played out, except for the part where I mercilessly ripped into her via SMS, calling her every name in the book and taunting her, then asked for forgiveness, then did it again, eventually admitted my BDSM fantasies to her even though she really didn’t want to hear it, stalked her, grabbed her butt without her permission, came to her house uninvited only not to be let in, etc. And I had an unrequited psychotic obsession with her pretty much through all of high school. But for the last two years of high school she had stopped responding to me at all. So I look back on that and I feel pretty terrible. And I know if she wanted to report me to the police she could have ruined my life entirely, but for some reason she never did, so that makes me feel double shitty. But that didn’t stop me from about eight other counts of butt/boob grabbing, verbal assault, and uncomfortable pressuring of other girls that wanted nothing to do with me. One was a teacher. For whatever reason nobody ever reported me. By tenth grade I had gotten good enough at pretending to be a good kid that everyone seemed to think I was. I guess. So I never really though anything of any of that until my National Guard active training, where we had SHARP briefings on sexual harassment and stuff. And everyone makes fun of those briefings because we see them so often but they really played on something in the pit of my stomach that told me: “You’ve actually put girls into those positions. You’ve done awful stuff.” So yeah. After that I went to college. I didn’t really like college anymore than high school. I thought the other people were stupid. I came to study finance because I was passionate about it, I watched college lectures on Corporate Finance in 9th grade ffs, so the other kids there who didn’t seem to know why they were there just didn’t impress me. So I spent a lot of time in my dorm room alone. There were entire weeks where I didn’t speak to anyone. At one point I met a cute girl, we’ll call her Karen. Karen was very sweet, Karen was a passionate libertarian, thinker, and studied economics. I met her at at an economics association meeting. She basically at one point obliterated an argument I was making so I immediately thought “I want here number.” I got it and we hit it off. It was the first time I had a very wholesome reciprocated friendship with a girl. Karen was smart but a little naïve, and came from a good home. I think the song “Uptown Girl” could be her theme song. Unfortunately, a friendship was all it was, because Karen had a boyfriend in her hometown in another state. And he was VERY important to her at the time. But she didn’t have any other friends same as me, so we hung out a lot. Like a lot, a lot. We went on walks, lunch dates, dinner dates, whatever. We really clicked. But then my feelings kept growing for her and it felt like a repeat of high school. She reciprocated some of those feelings, but it was still all about the boy back home. I knew how to control myself better by then but it was rough. I didn’t want to lose this valuable friend but I was also extremely attracted to her, and she kept putting me in that position because she was lonely too. Eventually the bad thing happened. I decided I was being played for a bitch. I couldn’t accept this insult to my pride. So I figured I’d take what I wanted the way I always had, but this time it wouldn’t be just a cheap thrill. We were in her dorm room and we were talking and I forced myself on her. It started with an attempt at a kiss, she resisted, so I basically just started to force her against me. She resisted lightly but didn’t say anything. But that was it, I couldn’t go through with what I was planning to do. So I let go and we had a really long awkward silence staring at each other across the room. It was weird because this was the first time a girl I tried to do something like this to actually liked me in some way so I could tell it was scary and confusing for her, and it actually was for me too. I think she knew what I almost did. I can’t remember how I left, but later we texted, made up, and pretty shortly after became friends again, and I just went along with it and didn’t try anything again after that. So that was also weird. I still had feelings for her, and I don’t know how it would have turned out but at some point she dropped out of school to go home. She hadn’t told me until the day she was leaving, which was a shock to me. I guess she was embarrassed. So I offered one more long walk and we did, and it was a really good time. I felt like I was being mature, doing everything right for once. And we hugged before she left and she said “I’ll see you” and I just said “You won’t. You’re leaving.” And she had this kind of weird look and so far I’ve never seen her again. I tried texting her once asking if she would want to meet up again sometime, but she cited her boyfriend and said she couldn’t do that. I didn’t reply, just deleted the number immediately and never found her again. When I had my first real girlfriend it lasted four months, and was a relatively normal relationship, I mean any actual relationship would seem normal relative to my sexually-tense friend zone. I met her in my national guard unit, but she was also a 29 year old stripper with 2 kids. I had frequented strip clubs and wasn’t afraid to date a stripper. Started casual then got more serious. But she turned out to be batshit insane. Compulsive liar…the lies aren’t even worth getting into they were just pointless. Stuff she made up to get attention, and I believed most of them. So she played me like a fiddle and I dumped her when she went on a trip to San Diego without me. Later she tried to claim she was pregnant and just made the whole thing uglier and stupider than it needed to be, but the whole relationship experience was pretty meh in general. So now I am where I am. I think I covered a lot of the important points. I’m not sure if I should be concerned or not. I think I’ve just been repressing everything for a very long time, at least since I stopped venting my anger by harassing women. I don’t express emotions usually, everything just rolls off my shoulders for the most part. A few times I just get randomly sad, especially when I’m drunk but it does happen when I’m sober: I’ll just go through fits of crying. Not for any reason. Like, it could be a perfectly normal day and then at night I’ll cry until I fall asleep. It doesn’t happen often, and when it does I just wake up the next morning like it didn’t happen at all. When people reach out to me for empathy I don’t have a response. When my Mom is crying to me about something I feel bad because I want to offer more support but I just feel incapable of it. I wouldn’t call myself “dead inside” because I have plenty of interest in the world around me and I’m not that bad with people anymore, but when it comes to genuine connections I’m pretty lost. I am very alone with my thoughts and feelings most of the time. I have some reddit forums I go to where I like the communities and I feel like a have a strong voice there, but not anywhere in real life. Really all I look forward to though is someday being extremely affluent and powerful, and just kind of rubbing in everyone’s face how great I am. Like some grand revenge on all the people who thought I was just some loser they could push around. If I let go of that fantasy I wouldn’t have much in life to be proud of, or much reason to get up in the morning. I try to learn and grow every day and keep myself focused which sounds really nice, but really it’s just because I have delusions of dominating people with power attained through knowledge. I always think it would be nice to live a modest life with a family, and sometimes I think about meeting a girl I actually like and respect like Karen but I haven’t met another one yet, and I feel pretty inhuman most of the time. Like I’ll have to put on a mask and pretend to be someone else to meet a Karen again, and maybe I’m too far gone to be happy that way. So I don’t think about relationships as much as I used too. I’ve partly given up. I feel completely fine each day, and feel like I’m building towards something, getting better all the time, but for all the wrong reasons. The only period in my life where I started to wake up to the idea that I needed a better philosophy was pretty recently at the tail end of college. So my whole life through the military and different internships I would save roughly 75% of the money I made (I also made a small profit going to college off full merit scholarship + military aid.) So I had, I think about $17,000 after a couple of years of playing the stock market and doing pretty well. I started looking into cryptocurrency and didn’t think too much of Bitcoin but got super into learning about Ethereum which uses the blockchain concept for a decentralized virtual machine, which turns out is kind of a really powerful thing. So in mid 2017 I shifted everything I had into Ethereum plus a couple other crypto platforms I thought had potential. I wound up making over $75,000 in the big crypto bubble. But I only ever cashed out $6000 to reward myself because I genuinely believed (and still do) that what I had invested in has a long way to go still. So, the market crashed and I now have lost all profits with some extra money to boot. My portfolio is only about $10,000 altogether now, not including my IRA which I never count because I wouldn’t touch it. So a few months ago I had gotten very depressed about that whole ordeal, and wasn’t sure what to do. I started meditating and just getting out of my own head more, going for walks without the fantasies. I kind of accepted my own mortality, the fact I might not ever achieve the things I want to, and humbled myself. It worked for a while but it didn’t stick. Now I feel fine about the whole thing, I’ve accepted the volatility of the market and I love keeping up on the new things happening in the field every day. But whether I someday have a really well paying career or start an amazing business or get rich on investments, which are all things I feel are totally possible it doesn’t really answer the question of what the hell I’m supposed to do with my funked up emotional well being. When I came here to write this I felt like I might be in danger of being the next big school shooter, but now I think I might be ok. I just wish I could connect with people IRL and I think maybe all the hate and anger would start to go away. This brain dump was really therapeutic though.
bullish on USD. it is clear USD is increasingly popular with past hodlers of the deprecated bit-Coin. USD has gone up hugely in just the past day against the b.t.C!! in the future it is posible with enough imagination that the US economy could run on USD ! in conclusion you should get into currency (186 points, 26 comments)
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